Thankyou for once again saving my rough night, a night that I spent most every minute inside my head, inside a dark cloud that no coffee or lunch break could dissolve no matter how hard I tried. That was just it…I tried and tried. But I should have just given it up to You.
Eventually I did. Eventually the night turned into a song. One of thanks. One of friendly conversation on line. Another conversation in the fitness room. One more in the laundry room. I shared photos with a coworker across the alley. I bumped into another friend I hadn’t seen in months. You knew I craved human contact. I didn’t. Yup I should have given the night over to You as soon as it began to go sour. Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.
“Come let us sing to the Lord and shout with joy to the Rock who saves us. Let us approach him with praise and thanksgiving and sing joyful songs to the Lord.”
I closed my eyes for a bit after work, in the Walmart parking lot.
“If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you rain in its season and the ground will yield its crops and trees their fruit.”
Life clicks not in the environment around you but in the love you have for Him. If indeed you love Him you will not worry about anything … ANYTHING. Not world affairs. Not coworkers. Not money. Not unkept dreams. Not ANYTHING. Keep your eyes on Him and that relationship. That’s it. That’s all.
How often I have to be reminded…and reminded…and reminded…
Sounds like pie in the sky or anti-saneness, sharpened by the reality of the world around us, silenced by common sense.
Believe it or not, all your desires for a life with Him and for Him shall be yours. On a good day…on a believing day…I’ve seen this truth. Don’t ask anyone for anything. Put all your trust in Him. I’ve seen this truth too on a good day…on a believing day.
It’s all about relationship. I am only as great in the community which I have chosen if I have allowed Him to be great in me.
I wasn’t at the start of work. Far from it. So work was frustrating. I couldn’t think or prioritize or complete any task I started. I grumbled about every little thing. And every little thing grumbled back.
“Trust Him,” I kept reminding myself. “Be anxious over nothing.” Absolutely nothing? “But in all things give thanks.” All things?
“I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.”
Walter Wangerin Jr1 said in Mourning Into Dancing, “We die a hundred times before we die; and all the little endings on the way are like a slowly growing echo of the the final Bang! “
“But…but…Christ conquered death… so maybe, for any who believe in Him, who He is, whose He is, and follows Him, maybe there are no little deaths to be had…just glorious day after glorious day. I know He said there would be tribulations and problems, but if we are truly trying to follow Him, maybe the sting of those little deaths will be less. I don’t know. I just know that when I gave up trying to make the night work, He eased me into His glory with a laugh here, an unexpected smile there. Nothing big or earth shattering. No miracle or spiritual awakening. Just something perfect. So perfect. On the drive home I smiled in remembrance.
Listen to the Son of God who gathered the children around Him.
Follow the Son of God to the beach.
Have fun!
Dream.
And He will have fun with you.
And He will dream with you.
And you will enjoy the laughter of children and delight in the rainbows set in the sky just for you.
And and and maybe even relax and sing through the begrudging boring work at hand like I did. His gift to us all. He who conquered death.
-“…What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him‘
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
Jesus, I want to see; I want to know; I want to follow you and Your ways.
“Go,” said Jesus. “Your faith has healed you.”
“In your majesty ride forth victoriously in the course of truth, humility and justice; let your right hand achieve awesome deeds.”
I will, Lord. I will!
“You love righteousness and hate wickedness, therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.”
- If you have never read anything by Wangerin Jr, pick up any of his novels. What a writer! ↩︎