If following You is so important, than why does the world call louder? I could sit here and wait on You…but the rent will still be due, the refrigerator will be still empty, and well, practically speaking, without money to pay the electric and cable/internet bill, I couldn’t be blogging on the computer. In my world, a glass of homemade cold brew coffee has more power in helping me through the day than a proverb that says “From the fruit of the mouth one’s stomach is satisfied; the yield of the lips brings satisfaction.”Is there really any practicality in following You? Is there a way, a method to appease You and the world? I closed my eyes… because I expect an answer; it’s how foolish I am.
At my feet was a small whirlpool. So I dipped my bare toes into the water.
Then the whirlpool started swirling faster and faster. My foot was caught. I was being pulled, dragged into the very center, then sucked down. Drowning. I flagged my arms.
I kicked my feet, The water was thick and murky. My lungs tightened. My every cell begged for air. And just when I knew there was no more breath, I felt two huge hands grip the soles of my feet, steady the kicking, and then gently push up against my helplessness. My head broke through the surface. And I sucked in a desperate breath.
All was calm. The whirlpool was gone. The lake was still as ice.
I opened my eyes. I looked at the clock. I was late again. I rushed past the cat, and headed for the bathroom, picking up the phone on my way by. A text message: “I can handle work today if you’d like.” Oh God, You are amazing!
I grabbed a cigarette and went to sit on the porch. Cars stopping at the corner. Trucks parking in the lot across the street. Mill men laughing. Mothers guiding their strollers down the sidewalk. Dogs barking. I love it out here.
Since I don’t feel financially secure buying flowers for my empty pots, I had set my houseplants outside for greenery. Better than nothing. It was simple. And beautiful. I sat at the old wooden table, in the old wooden chair and just enjoyed the moment.
“Strip away all the dead leaves. And bloom again.”
The transplanted houseplants by my side definitely needed pruning, and the potted annual that I had been planning to throw out after it had bloomed once, surprisingly had new flowers. But my life: how do I strip away all the old leaves and bloom again?
“Just do it!”
Ah… the whirlpool becoming smooth as ice by trusting in His hands.